Condition
Social Anxiety — therapy online across the UK
Social anxiety is more common — and more treatable — than most people realise.
~1 in 10
adults affected at some point
First-line
CBT recommended by NICE
Teens
common age of onset
Graded
exposure approach used
Understanding it
About Social Anxiety
Social anxiety disorder is intense fear of scrutiny in social or performance situations — meetings, parties, phone calls, even eating in front of others. It can be constant, or it can flare only in specific settings like public speaking or dating.
Social anxiety usually involves a strong belief that you'll be judged negatively, combined with 'safety behaviours' — over-rehearsing what to say, avoiding eye contact, staying quiet — that are meant to protect you but actually keep the anxiety alive by stopping you finding out the feared outcome rarely happens.
A lot of the distress comes from self-focused attention: mentally watching yourself from the outside during a conversation, which makes you feel far more visible and awkward than you actually appear to others.
Social anxiety often begins in adolescence and can be reinforced by a genuinely difficult experience — being laughed at, excluded or humiliated — but it can also develop with no single clear cause.
How it shows up
You might recognise some of this
Nobody has all of it. Most people recognise a handful — and that's enough to start.
In your body
- Blushing, sweating or shaking
- Racing heart before social events
- Dry mouth or a shaky voice
- Nausea before meetings or gatherings
In your thoughts
- "Everyone can see I'm anxious"
- "I'll say something stupid"
- Replaying conversations afterwards for mistakes
- Assuming silence means judgement
- Comparing yourself unfavourably to others in the room
In daily life
- Avoiding calls in favour of texts
- Skipping events or arriving late to avoid small talk
- Turning down promotions involving presenting
- Rehearsing sentences before saying them
- Drinking to cope socially
Signals
When this helps
- Rewire the assumption that you're being judged
- Reduce safety behaviours that keep the fear going
- Rebuild the social life you actually want
- Handle presentations, meetings or interviews
- Feel less exhausted after socialising
The work
How therapy helps here
CBT is first-line and effective
Graded video/voice work through therapy
Compassion-focused work for shame layers
The evidence
What the research actually says
Plain-English summaries of the guidance our therapists work from.
CBT is the recommended treatment
NICE identifies CBT, specifically adapted for social anxiety, as an effective first-line treatment, often working through exposure to feared social situations in a graded way.
Safety behaviours maintain the fear
Research shows that dropping safety behaviours — like avoiding eye contact or rehearsing — speeds up recovery more than simply facing the situation while still using them.
Attention training helps
Shifting attention outward, away from self-monitoring, during social situations has been shown to reduce anxiety and improve how confident someone feels in the moment.
What to expect
How a course of therapy usually unfolds
A guide, not a script — your therapist shapes this around you.
- 1
Mapping the fear
Identifying exactly which situations, thoughts and safety behaviours are involved for you specifically.
- 2
Testing beliefs
Small experiments to test out predictions — like "I'll visibly shake and everyone will notice" — against what actually happens.
- 3
Graded exposure
Working up a personal hierarchy of feared situations, from lower-stakes to higher-stakes, at a pace you set.
- 4
Dropping safety behaviours
Gradually letting go of rehearsing, avoiding eye contact or over-preparing, to discover you can cope without them.
- 5
Living it out
Consolidating change in real social settings — work, friendships, dating — with your therapist as a sounding board.
Worth saying
Common worries, honestly answered
“Social anxiety is just shyness.”
Shyness is a personality trait; social anxiety disorder is a clinical level of fear and avoidance that significantly limits someone's life, and it responds to specific treatment.
“Confident people don't have it.”
Many highly capable, articulate people live with social anxiety — it's about internal fear, not how competent you appear.
Between sessions
Small things that genuinely help
None of these replace therapy — but they're a gentle place to begin today.
- Notice and name safety behaviours you use, one at a time
- Practise focusing on the other person, not on yourself, during a chat
- Set one small social 'experiment' a week
- Resist the urge to replay conversations afterwards for flaws
- Celebrate showing up, not just how it went
FAQs
Frequently asked
Find the therapist who fits
Answer 10 short questions and we'll match you within 48 hours — no card needed to start.